Secret Marriages

Iqbal was ashamed that she kept her 3-month old relationship a secret. Her mother was more worried that the photos did not reflect well on the family. The fact that Iqbal had been sneaking around seemed to come second. Whether in response to an Islamic tradition that prohibits dating or to the desire to fit in with their peers, some Muslim teens are having relationships in secret. While this provides practice at being with the opposite sex, it can also fray family and friendship bonds. Although dating is off-limits for these religious Muslim teens, they are allowed supervised visits with a potential spouse, who they are encouraged to meet through their network of family or friends. It caused more drama. I realized that not everybody can be nice and I had to accept what was happening. I know I can trust him more than anyone. Shoukfeh said his friends communicate with their girlfriends outside of school by sending text messages and talking on the phone.

We Had to Keep Our Marriage a Secret From Our Families

Phew, someone finally gets it! Agnes was my alibi. Their plan for me is to find a Pakistani boy to marry as soon as I finish medical school, yet they disapprove of modern dating and essentially any pre-marital relationship. For years I internalised this as the norm, but when I turned sixteen I began to question all the rules about dating, virginity, and modesty.

Young Muslims find a middle ground for fostering romantic relationships between what is permissible and what is forbidden.

ICF, moc. Prior research on fundamentalist religious movements has focused attention on the complicated relationship between gender, family and religion. Using data from a nationally representative survey of 30, Hindu and Muslim women, this study compares the daily public and private behaviors of women in India to examine how gender and family norms are shaped in the context of communalized identity politics.

Results indicate that Muslim women are more likely to engage in veiling and less likely to venture outside the home for recreation and employment. However, religious differences are absent when attention is directed at private behaviors such as household decision making power, gender segregation within households, and discrimination against daughters. Results underscore the multidimensionality of gender. Although demographers have long recognized the role of culture in shaping demographic behaviors like marriage, childbearing and intra-household relationships, in spite of its tremendous promise Fricke , incorporating culture in demographic analysis is fraught with challenges Hammel The role of religion and gender in shaping demographic outcomes is a particularly striking example.

While this omission is problematic when it comes to treating religion and gender in isolation, it becomes particularly salient when the two conflate as in the research on Muslim societies and gender. However, in spite of the increasing recognition in the literature that gender is a multidimensional phenomenon Mason ; Presser and Sen , this insight has not been integrated in the research on gender and demography.

What kind of woman is willing to share her husband?

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Inter-religiously married Muslim women in Britain come from different ethnic backgrounds, but the focus here is on Turkish Muslim women.

The series describes, with tart precision and irony, the lives of young American Muslims who may drink, have sex, and believe in God—and who keep much of their lives secret from their parents and their friends. Youssef plays the title character, Ramy, who is unclear about what type of Muslim he is or ought to be. He dates non-Muslim women but hides his religion.

Put off less by his beliefs than by his deceit, she walks away. In response, he decides to try dating Muslim women, and he asks his parents to set him up. Ramy displays a catalogue of misguided assumptions about not only his parents but other Egyptians and Muslims. Toward the end of the series, Ramy decides to go to Egypt to figure himself out. It is his first trip there in fifteen years, and his pre-formed view of Egypt is shattered the minute he lands.

He keeps asking his cousin to take him to mosques; instead, the cousin takes him to a party that is no different from the ones Ramy tired of in New York. Like many first-generation Egyptian-American immigrants, Ramy finds that many Arab-Muslim ideals that he has been trying to live up to in America have already been discarded by many of his peers in Egypt. Ramy makes a similarly misguided assumption on his first date with an Egyptian-Muslim woman, with whom his parents set him up.

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Dating, in particular, has become even more complicated. For Gen-Z and millennial Muslim women, that complication is exacerbated as they try to balance religion, culture and gender. Dating for Muslims can be very different from Western practices. Within Islam, a halal , or permissible, way of dating means getting parents or a third party involved early on; abstaining from casual dates, hookups and sex; and talking about marriage right off the bat.

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She was working at her campus job at Kean University, wearing the traditional hijab of her Muslim faith, when a fellow student instantly caught her eye. In modern day fashion, she sent him a direct message on Facebook. That one action would inadvertently lead her later to an excruciating choice between love and family. Their intense love affair was a secret to almost everyone because her Muslim Indian family would not approve of her dating a Catholic Colombian man.

She ultimately left the love of her life for an unhappy and abusive marriage, unknowingly set up by her family. The student, who is a senior, soon to be graduating, asked not to be identified because of the personal nature of her story. She decided to follow her heart and build a strong connection with a man of an entirely different religion and culture.

When she was 21 years old, her family believed she was too old to be single. Her younger cousin, who at the time was 16, had gotten married, which created an urgency for her to get married as well. Her parents decided to invite a man she had never met before over their home for dinner and shortly after he left, they told her that she would marry him. She noted, however, that in Indian culture, forced arranged marriages are accepted, whereas religiously they are not.

She also explained that her parents are more culturally inclined than they are religiously.

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Caste hatred in India – what it looks like. What is India’s caste system? Most Indian families still prefer marriages arranged within their religion and caste.

By Madeleine Crum, Huffington Post: The American perception of Muslim women is sadly narrow: We imagine heavily cloistered beauties.

Sat 1 Sep O ne day this summer, year-old Ayu married year-old Che Abdul Karim Che Hamid at a small pink mosque on the banks of the Golok river in the far south of Thailand. Earlier that morning, Che Abdul Karim and his soon-to-be child bride had travelled over the border from Malaysia into the Thai province of Narathiwat for the wedding. After a short ceremony at 11am and a trip to the Islamic Council offices to get their marriage certificate stamped, the couple crossed back over the border.

But over the border in Thailand , where the controversial union took place, the response by the government and religious authorities has been notably muted. The imam did make Che Abdul Karim — himself an imam in a rural village — pledge not to have sexual relations with his young wife, but medical tests since are said to show that the year-old did not keep his promise. In Thailand, many people get married at early ages. However, in the southern provinces of Thailand — Narathiwat, Pattani and Yalla, which are majority Muslim — a legal loophole allows Muslim communities to apply Islamic law to family matters.

According to this law, there is no minimum age for marriage and, culturally, girls are deemed eligible as soon as they start menstruating. In this way, child marriage has continued as an unregulated norm and a solution to underage pregnancy and rape — with the Thai government appearing to turn a blind eye. Mohammad Lazim runs one such business, helping arrange cross-border marriages for Malaysian men.

He works with more than 50 bridegrooms a year, mainly wanting a second or third wife — but insists never with underage brides. He says that his business is tiny compared with some.

Love, InshAllah: The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women

Some brothers and sisters have asked me to comment on a practice that is increasingly reported of travelling Muslim scholars and teachers of Islam in the West, and those who travel to the West as teachers and preachers. This is the practice of contracting secret marriages in the places these scholars visit or pass through.

The first thing to be said is that people generally do not make a secret of actions and relations except when they have some sense that these actions and relations, if known, would be disapproved of.

The Tunisian government has lifted a decades-old ban on Muslim women marrying non-Muslim men, but the decision is facing opposition from.

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5 Struggles Every Muslim Girl can Relate to